Saturday, January 25, 2014

Maryville Rape Case: My Response

Earlier today I was flipping through a magazine, it was probably People, when I came across an article about a teenage girl who had accused an older boy of rape about 2 years ago. The article caught my attention because it was this young girl's third suicide attempt. It's not like it was a cry for attention, this girl was seriously trying to kill herself with pills. And what really disgusts me about teens in America these days is the fact that they would rather prosecute "the boy who cried wolf", then the actual wolf. And this just goes hand in hand with those who believe that when a girl dresses a certain way, she must be "asking for it". What the fuck is wrong with your way of thinking? If someone is a rapist then it is certainly NOT the victim's fault. NO MATTER WHAT. Nobody asks to be raped. Nobody wants to be raped. So why is it that we become so judgemental of the victims and we get hostile with them? Why do we just let the wolf walk around and get away with it? It's disgusting and I'm ashamed, truly, of the way our country thinks about things. It's even more distasteful to see how blurred the lines get, how twisted the perspective of what's going on, especially amongst today's youth.

Let me give you a less severe example of how reality is being twisted at an early age. SITUATION: When two people are dating and one cheats on the other. The cheater is not the one that is blamed, oh no - you know who gets tormented and teased beyond belief? Logic would suggest that the person to be punished is the one who broke your heart, the one who was unfaithful and disloyal. But who do we blame? We blame "the other woman" (or man). Yep. Sickeningly enough, we usually choose to forgive our disloyal partners, instead sending a pack of rabid dogs to attack the "home wrecker". But what we always fail to realize, what we twist into a disgusting tangle of knots, is the fact that IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE to have an affair. And don't even try to excuse your unfaithful partner's actions -"he was weak", "she seduced him", "she's a home-wrecker!" etc, etc, etc. BOTTOM LINE - your "partner" is a cheater and a liar. The "other woman/man", they aren't the one who cheated on you. In fact, they might not even know that you exist. Ever heard of spouses who lie about being married? Guys who take off their wedding bands to pick up chicks in bars? Yeah, kinda that whole situation. And I could rant on about this, but you'd probably (in the end) STILL be blaming that "home-wrecker". You'd probably sick all of your friends against them and tease them, calling them a "slut" or a "whore". But you never punish the one who cheated on you and broke your heart. In fact, you'll probably take them back and they will eventually hurt you all over again. In the meantime, the "other" gets branded a bunch of bad names and is outcast from society. What the Hell? I'm not saying it's okay to have a physical relationship with someone who is in a relationship or married, but come on - if your bf/gf can't have self control or keep their vows to you then it's THEIR fault just as much as anyone else's.

Anyway, this twisted way of thinking (I'm going to name it for now "The Cheating Syndrome") about "the other woman/man" and your cheating partner is just utterly ridiculous. But it's what leads me into my next chain of thought (and I'll call this "The Rape Syndrome"). As I mentioned briefly earlier, MANY MANY people in America tend to blame the victims of rape rather than the rapists themselves. And they even try to DEFEND the rapists! "Well she was asking for it, look at how she dresses!" Are you fucking kidding me? So a girl can't wear a cute outfit unless she's a "slut"? What about all of the people (and children) out there who have been abused when they WEREN'T wearing a certain type of clothes? We can't just ignore them, it's not like their pain is any less. WHY do we need to find "justification" for someone who RAPES????? WHY do we need to label victims of rape as "sluts" and "whores"????? The boy who cried wolf gets killed, and we give the wolf a pat on the back? Maybe we wag a finger at him for a brief moment, but in the end we just let him roam free. And he just continues to do what he does. And it isn't just teenagers, it's adults too - which makes this all even more disgusting and sad. Especially when it's rape cases about younger people, and the ones who are harassing the victims aren't young. How pathetic are you if you are a grown up, an "adult", who badmouths a child/youth? What sick, demented soul do you have where you're like a forty-year-old parent and you have to tease a fourteen-year-old girl or call her a "slut" because someone else raped her? All you're doing is proving that you are an ENABLER of bad things. You're pretty much a supporter of rapists. And it certainly says something about our Justice system if we can't even prove that a rape occurred. Oh "there was no evidence", they argue. Well why don't you look at that little
girl's vagina? Or that child's ass? I bet you could find a tear or semen sample somewhere. And I'm not trying to be vulgar, but apparently it's the only way to get a point across in America these days.

Now back to the case at hand, I read the magazine article and I read a few articles on the internet as well. I'm not from that town in Missouri, I don't know those kids, I don't know what happened because I wasn't there. But based on some of the things I read I can kind of paint a pretty good picture of what MIGHT have happened. Firstly, a 17 yr old boy (Matthew) was texting and flirting with a 14 yr old girl (Daisy). There's proof of that. Why? What was his end game? Obviously, teenagers have hormones and want to have sex. I guess it wasn't against the consensual age law in Missouri either. Regardless, there has to be some reason that Matthew wanted Daisy to come to his party. It's not like High School Juniors/Seniors really want to hangout with Freshmen. So anyway, Matthew and his friends go pick up Daisy (and her friend Paige, 13 yrs old I believe). OK - now I have to ask - where the HELL were Matthew's parents? Apparently a lot of American parents now-a-days just let their minors have parties at their HOME and drink (by the way, who GOT the alcohol for them in the first place?) And why the HELL didn't Daisy's mom or two brothers hear her sneak out of the house in the middle of the night? The whole situation was just shitty, and really shady, from the get go. So I guess these two little girls go to a party with older guys (they probably thought they were cute or something), and these guys provide alcohol. All these little teenagers are just partying and drinking in their parent's basement and NOBODY apparently SEES or HEARS anything??? Yeah. Right.

So apparently Matthew's friend videotaped whatever it was that happened between him and Daisy. But - OH - I guess that video was CONVENIENTLY deleted from his cell phone before the cops could see it. Now, nobody really knows what happened except for Matthew & Daisy (who were both drunk at the time), but something tells me that if you delete a video off of your phone it's usually because you have something to hide and you don't want to get caught. If it was just them drinking and making out - no big deal right? But if some kind of rape went down, well we can't have the son(?) of a State Representative get in trouble now can we...? Hmmmmm.... And I'm sure that Politics didn't affect the court decisions AT ALL. Rightttttttttttt. Anyway, WE don't know what happened that night. We don't know if she was raped, if it was consensual, or what. WE were not there. Even the other drunk kids at the party probably don't even know what happened. And yet, as soon as that little girl accused someone of rape, what happened? Everyone punishes the victim. And what happens to the wolf? Oh he gets some reprimanding (two years later) and has to do some community service. And he's not allowed to drink alcohol for a while (as if the court is actually gonna track that). Are you KIDDING ME?!

Now I don't know any of these kids personally, but I've known kids a lot like them from back when I was in High School. And you have to ask yourself. What did Daisy have to gain by saying she was raped? Attention? To not "get in trouble"? To cover up the fact that she had sex? Maybe. But, it wasn't illegal (so that eliminates the latter). Getting grounded? Would've been so much easier than a lawsuit. So that just leaves "attention" and if she wanted attention or he wanted attention then they could've just showed that video (that was mysteriously deleted) from that kid's phone. But again I'll say, NOBODY knows what really happened to that 14 yr old except for her and the boy she accused (and maybe the kid with the cellphone).

After the "event" happened, Matthew and his buddies (probably all intoxicated) drove her (and her friend?) home but they left Daisy on the porch and it was really cold that night. Why was she passed out? Alcohol poisoning?  Was she really fucking tired from all that "sex", or maybe she was drugged? It wouldn't be unheard of to find out that underage drinkers got their hands on some drugs as well. I guess she was just in light clothing and she didn't have any shoes? Where the hell did her shoes go? Not important when it's freezing outside I guess. So you have a car full of drunk teenagers driving around and dropping off little girls at their home in the middle of the night. That's not suspicious at all is it? Plus, they probably broke like a half-dozen different laws. But who knows? Her family didn't even find her until the morning. She must have really been tired (or stoned). Stupidly, her mom made her take a warm bath (I know she wanted her to get warm, but come on - give the kid some blankets or something and hear her out first). If she HADN'T have taken that bath before they went to the hospital, they might actually have found evidence that she'd been raped. Now we won't ever know.

In the meantime, (I read the investigation summary), there was no mention of a drug scan or the DIA or anyone getting involved. But I guess Daisy drank from something the boy's called a "bitch cup" before she "blacked out". First of all, American teenagers apparently think it's okay to call girls  bitches all the time. CUT IT OUT. It's not cute, it's not funny, it's not smart. You're an asshole. Second of all, anything that is called the "bitch cup" should have raised a red flag, whether you've been drinking or not. You should know WHAT you are drinking. There was probably something other than vodka in that cup. So maybe the alcohol + the older guy hitting on you + being at a party with older kids could have messed up Daisy's judgement and she might've done something she regretted when she woke up the next day. But from what I've read of the story it seems more likely that Matthew fed her a bunch of sweet talk, got her over to his place, then they all got drunk, and he took advantage of her. IF A GIRL DOESN'T SAY "NO", YOU CAN NOT JUST ASSUME THAT IT MEANS "YES". And everyone should remember that. It doesn't matter what age, what gender, what sex, etc. if you do not say "yes" or if you are not in the right state of mind to even answer that question - then the only thing to assume is NO. N - O -. NO NO NO. If you think you're doing something wrong, you probably are. And I'm betting that "bitch cup" was probably laced with some kind of date-rape drug. But, there was no evidence because nobody ran any tests and nobody got the Drug Crime people involved. It was pretty much like everyone in Missouri just shrugged the whole case off.

Then when it finally came back around again, we find a 16 yr old and a 19 yr old - still pretty much just children - and Daisy had tried to kill herself three times already. But yet, there are still those of you out there (teenagers, adults, whoever) that continue to harass Daisy and her family (their house was burnt down, her brothers were harassed, etc). A confused little girl says the word "rape" and we all turn and call her a "slut" and a "whore" (someone even tried to run her off the road in their car). But nobody says anything bad about Matthew. Nobody calls him any bad names or leaves him threats. He isn't the one who is so depressed he wants to die. In fact, he probably jokes about the whole thing with his buddies and how he got off so easily. It's disgusting with a capital D. I am physically sick to my stomach that we allow this kind of behavior and thinking to occur in a country that is supposed to be known for their acceptance and free will.

America is supposed to be the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. But it seems like we don't deserve that name anymore. Instead, we should be the Land of the Free (criminals) and the Home of the Cowards. We prey on innocents and victims, calling them names and teasing them. Our cruelty and judgement drives poor unfortunate souls to take their own lives, yet still we laugh at their pain and point fingers. We exile them to a life of loneliness instead of giving them emotional (and legal) support. Meanwhile, the rapists, the liars, and the cheaters get away with everything. They walk around, wolves salivating in sheep's clothing, and take advantage of others. Yet these are the people we side with. These are the people we rally behind? Well I'm sorry, but if this is the kind of society that we've become, then I want no part of it. What does it say about you if you're the kind of person who just turns a blind eye at such a vicious occurrence? What makes you so special, so righteous, if you're the one who turns and walks away from the boy crying "wolf"? Whether or not that little girl was raped, it isn't her that you should be calling names. I think everyone should take a second look at themselves in the mirror before blaming a victim for their own suffering. Who knows, maybe next time it could be YOU at that party, or YOUR child. Take a walk in someone else's shoes before you label them and judge them. If Americans can no longer tell the difference between a simple concept of "right" and "wrong" anymore, then what kind of hopeless, filthy world are we living in?

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