Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Dumb Mushroom Pickers

In Feb. of 2012, I remember reading an article about this idiot family from Oregon who got lost in the woods for six days while picking mushrooms. Even though they were supposedly picking edible mushrooms it really wouldn't surprise me if they were picking druggie 'shrooms. First of all, if picking mushrooms is your side job then how the hell do you get yourself lost in a wooded area that you should already be familiar with? Based on how the family spoke after getting rescued ("lt was just a real happy feeling 'cause we knew we wasn't going to die out there.") - my guess is that they're probably rednecks, besides already being trailer trash. Apparently between the 3 of them, they only had 1 fucking cell phone which was "dead". What a smart decision to make - NOT charging your only means of communication before venturing into the wilderness of Oregon to look for fucking mushrooms. Oh, and by the way the cellphone was a Blackberry. If you can afford a Blackberry you can afford a fucking phone charger. Also, I don't even feel sorry for them for being hungry. They had a knife with them that they used to signal to the helicopters. So common sense would suggest that you could stab a forest creature, scrape bark off of a tree, or chop down some berries with the KNIFE which you had brought with you into the woods. Maybe this family has never watched Man Vs. Wild or any of those shows. They should probably start. Or, maybe they could bring a fucking map with them or even a compass next time they venture into the woods and decide to look for mushrooms in places they'd never been before. I can't believe the amount of rescuers and Coast Guard members that wasted their time because of the stupidity of this family. There are way more important emergencies and people that need to ACTUALLY be saved. What's more, the stupid family decided it was too hot so they didn't even bring their jackets with them. Um...even if it's a hot day out the temperature is going to drop at night. It's not like Oregon is fucking south of the border either. They should've known how cold it would be since it's their fucking home state. The mom ended up getting Hypothermia, and honestly it's her own fault. Besides, the family of tards didn't even attempt to make a fire even though there was probably plenty of sticks and rocks and some kind of dry grass they could use as kindling. Plus, if they could figure out how to use their knife to reflect light to the helicopters you'd think they'd be able to reflect light onto a pile of dry leaves or something. But aside from all the stupid bullshit that happened in regards to this family of mushroom pickers, the thing that pissed me off the most was when they told the reporters that they considered EATING their pitbull dog. Are you fucking kidding me?! Then the Dad goes on to say "She's that good a dog, she'd have done it, too." Really? Fucking really??? The dog probably didn't even know what the fuck was going on, but I bet it was smart enough to find its own food - since it didn't starve or get hurt like its dumbass owners. I can't believe they even considered eating their family pet, it's like saying you'd eat a family member. And then to say that the dog would've sacrificed herself? Fucking stupid. People like that shouldn't be aloud to have pets, they shouldn't even be allowed to have children because that's how idiotic they are. Oh, and apparently you spent all that time collecting mushrooms but they were too "nasty" to eat? So you'd rather starve or threaten to eat your pet than suck it up and cook some goddam mushrooms...oh yeah, but I forgot you don't know how to make fucking fire without your lighter. I guess that's all I have to rant about for now.


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